"Pee in a Cup!"

Set the stage:  Two year old grins while running to bathroom and says, "Gotta tee-tee!"  The mom beams as she helps the tot onto the step stool and then the big potty.  Cut to scene two: The mom hands the child a sticker, and the toddler sings, "I'm a big kid now!"  At this point if you have a child with autism you may be laughing, crying, or maybe both.  Reality for many of us tends to look more like this: zoom ahead 3 to 5 years, a toileting schedule with pictures, a lot of crying, and pee and poop everywhere!  Many kids with autism don't potty train until they are 5 to 7 years old.

The same physical milestones need to be met for all kids.  Each child needs to be aware of when they need to use the toilet, and they need to be able to hold their pee and start to pee once on the toilet.  Kids who have  autism may also have other milestones  to meet.  My son had issues with the loudness of the flushing toilet, body in space issues, fear of not being clean, fine motor/clothing issues, and lack of ability to model the process.

Potty training at our home required many things that included pics from Boardmaker showing each  step of the process, a schedule for bathrooming, endless patience,  a ton of laundry, and red Solo cups. 

Our very first step in Alex's potty training involved me getting over my own hangups.  My child was past the typical potty training age and I felt like a horrible failure of a mother. I was wrong to carry such guilt.  It just made things worse for both of us.  Through prayer and the awesome support of my family and friends, I realized that delays caused by the autism really are just delays.  That means "later"--not "never"!  And I learned that even if "never" is the eventuality, there are always Depends!

Next, I worked with Alex's teachers and paras on creating a picture set to show "the process" that we would use at both school and home.  We put him in underwear and took him to the restroom every 45 minutes all day long.  He still wore pull-ups at night, at church, and school.  He had minor success at home, but still didn't tell us when he needed to go.

After a couple of months, I began to notice that he seemed very nervous about "letting go" when he would need to urinate.  Sometimes he would freak out and run away peeing all over the floor as he went.  We tried stickers, penny boards, even reward candy--nothing  worked. 

One day in early November of that year, I'm sure more out of sympathy for my carpet than an actual teaching moment, I grabbed a Solo cup for him to pee in.  Immediately, he "let down" and began to pee.  I held the cup close to his body so he didn't have to see the pee at all, and it didn't fly everywhere.  SUCCESS!  He began to use the cup all of the time, we rinsed it out just like you would a training potty.

During Thanksgiving break, my husband and I started to hold the cup between Alex and the toilet.  After a couple of days when he learned to aim, I "forgot" to get the cup and he peed in the toilet!  He still would say, "Pee in a cup!" every time he needed to go, but he was toilet trained.  He #2 trained the next week.

I know the Solo cup is not the answer to all potty training issues, but that one simple thing helped Alex to overcome so many of the things that were getting in the way of his success.  I felt compelled to share this story because before I looked at his lack of being toilet trained as a disability that I had failed to help him overcome.  I kept trying to teach him through conventional ways like reading Potty with Elmo, or trying  to have him model after going potty with daddy, and so on.  But when I stepped out of the box, I was able to listen to what he needed and accommodate him.

He achieved a major life goal through unconventional means.  That is the way we do it!  Whether its toileting or math, we set a goal, follow Alex's lead, and give him the accommodations he needs to achieve the goal.